I Reckon Life

First Greetings & Blog Guide

2015-11-06T01:11:00.002+05:30

{I am deliberately publishing this post in a future date to keep it at the top always (actually wrote it on 6 Nov '05). This is a static post; for regular posts please scroll down.

* I Reckon Life - my main blog! My personal musings; sometimes I dont want to lose a thought and dont want to complete it either. Just want to save them here for my later persuasions.

* My Flickr - for browsing use these tags.

* My Picasaweb Gallery - for browsing use these tags.

* Our Rule Book - A personal joke between 'us'! Not for public comsumption ;) Now that our married life is alive, this blog is dead!

* My Compendiums - My collections of these things. These days my compendiums have moved to my own Gmail account. Request some if you are bored enough to listen to me.

* An Obiter Dictum - this was my first blog; and this my second blog. Now both are of historical importance and have sentimental value only.

* Joys of Married Life. Yet another compendium. Of trivial content. Collected from here 'n there. At random.

Middle class

2011-10-10T18:42:00.002+05:30

There are middle class people and then there are middle class people.
A conversation I had on train. Note that I am calling her a woman, not a lady!

woman: Which book are you reading?
me: (looking at her and assuming she wouldn't know Adobe Acrobat Pro) Some software book aunty.
woman: What is a software beta?
me: (dryly) It is a book on computers.
woman: (with a bright smile on her face) You must have done MCA.
me: (no expression for such an assumption) Engineering aunty.
woman: Where do you work in Noida?
me: Adobe.
woman: (still joyful) Oh Adobe. It is a factory in Sector 62, eh?
me: (irritated by now) No. Sector 25A.
woman: No! It is in Sector 62!
me: (WTF expression) Sector 25A.
woman: Where do you stay in Noida?
me: (getting tired of her interest in me) Sector 12.
woman: How much rent do you pay?
me: (saying fuck you in my mind) I gotta piss aunty.

These women are yet another reason why you'll find me sitting on the train door frequently!

Our own

2010-10-19T11:51:00.005+05:30

Seth Godin recently wrote:

"Mentors provide bespoke guidance. They take a personal interest in you. It's customized, rare and expensive.
Heroes live their lives in public, broadcasting their model to anyone who cares to look.
[...]
Like a custom made suit, a mentor is a fine thing to have if you can find or afford it. But for the rest of us, heroes will have to do."

I completely agree. Life is about finding your own inspiration and your own motivation. Nobody is going to be around for too long, to help through everything.
Deep inside we realize that it has never happened for anyone we know. Let's stop pretending it would happen for us someday. This way we are NOT the chosen few ;-)

I won't ever be getting that company to start my morning jogs, do my certification exams,

If it is to be, it is up to me!

New house, yet again

2010-10-17T21:16:00.006+05:30

self (frustrated): Where the **** is that notebook?
wifey dear (exclaiming): You packed it.
self (with questioning looks): So? You are supposed to track and remember things in this house!
wifey dear (giving up): Sheesh. Are you a kid?
self (childishly): Yeah!
wifey dear (finding the notebook for me): Now don't lose it and try remembering things once in a while.
self (aggressively): Aren't both your jobs in this house?!
wifey dear (taunting): Oh you won't improve ever.
self (whistling): Should have thought so before marrying me!

This is the sixth house in past three years (since I came to Noida). She says she feels nomadic since she got married ;-)

[Shameless clarification: No fault of mine! This time the landlord got it vacated within 4 months, because suddenly they wanted to shift! Before that I changed jobs. And before that we wanted to reduce my commute by more than 20 km.]

Sometimes we feel like supporting the families of some property dealers here in Noida! If you need some advice, I can talk endlessly about what to look for, and through whom. At least, till my memory is fresh. Oh wait, all of it will get revised in a few months anyway ;-)

PS: Incidentally I am listening to 3 doors down's Runaway right now. One of the most 'beautiful songs' I ever listened to!

I want your love instead

2010-07-26T10:47:00.000+05:30

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. The husband is really excited when the wife stops and says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
The husband says, "WHAAAT?"
The wife explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. "I want you to love me for who I am and not what I can do to you in bed!"
The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen that night and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her Christmas shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits.She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. And then they go to the jewelery department where she gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out, but she doesn't care.She goes for the tennis bracelet.
The husband says, "But you don't even play tennis! Well, okay if you like it then let's get it. You deserve the best for Christmas."
The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says, "I am ready to go, let's go to the cash register."
The husband stops and says, "No, honey I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."
The wife's face goes blank.
"No honey, I just want you to hold this stuff for a while."
The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode and the husband says, "You must be in tune with my financial needs as a man. I want you to love me for who I am and not for what I can pamper you with!"

The Misfits

2010-05-13T01:27:00.002+05:30

Some time back, Apple did a little bit of advertising that I've always kept with me. Often when people do something "different" they're faced with opposition of all kinds, from all sorts of people, and for all sorts of reasons under the sun. These are cynical and harsh times, with cynical and harsh people. But don't let it get to your head, just get a little crazy, there's nothing left to lose really.

You've got to see the video of this ad for added effect (read motivation) :-)

Here’s to the crazy ones.
the misfits.
the rebels.
the troublemakers.
the round pegs in the square holes.
the ones who see things differently.
they’re not fond of rules.
and they have no respect for the status quo.
you can praise them, disagree with them, quote them,
disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.
about the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.
because they change things.
they invent. they imagine. they heal.
they explore. they create. they inspire.
they push the human race forward.
maybe they have to be crazy.
how else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written?
or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?
we make tools for these kinds of people.
while some see them as the crazy ones,
we see genius.
because the people who are crazy enough to think
they can change the world, are the ones who do.

I want to be a Child again

2010-05-13T01:15:00.004+05:30

I wish to be as playful as a child, with a kid's selectivity, with a kid's energy...

This is so beautiful--this is vaguely what I believe in when I say that world needs more love.

PS: This is the link at the end of the screen-shot.

Prometric to CAT Students

2009-12-11T12:32:00.000+05:30

I got the following message from them the other day.
from    DoNotReply@prometric.com
date    Thu, Dec 10, 2009 at 17:25
subject    A Message from Prometric
mailed-by    prometric.com

Dear Candidate,

At Prometric our first commitment is to provide every candidate with an excellent exam experience. To us, that means establishing a fair test environment and creating an exam that allows all candidates to demonstrate their true capabilities. Due to technical difficulties at a few centres some of you were unable to take the 2009 Common Admission Test (CAT). We know how important this test is to you, and we regret the circumstances that occurred this year. The administration of the exam may have fallen short of your expectations, as it did ours.

We empathize with the candidates who have not been able to complete the test despite the rescheduling efforts and extension of the testing period. To date, we have been able to contact and reschedule exams for more than 17,000 affected candidates, and majority of them have since completed their test. We are in the process of identifying candidates who may have experienced pre-mature termination of the test, or were unable to test within the testing window, and we will contact them to schedule a retake.

Please note that we are conducting a rigorous forensic analysis to ensure that every test result is valid and appropriate. Our work will not be done until our review of the situation is complete, the problems are identified, a plan is in place to ensure they don’t happen again, every candidate has taken the CAT, and all of the results are validated.

Thank you for registering for, and being part of the historic launch of the computer-based CAT. Computer-based testing has a transformative impact on education by expanding access, enhancing the test development process and making results more representative of a student’s capabilities.

For the more than 2.15 lakh candidates who have successfully completed their exams, we would like to say congratulations on being among the first test-takers of the computer-based CAT. This is a transition year for the CAT and we appreciate the patience you have shown. We understand that some of you may have had a less-than-satisfactory experience and again, we apologize. Every issue that has occurred has been noted and will form the basis of an improvement plan.

To your parents, we would like to assure them that we will conduct a thorough review and ensure that every candidate has been given an equal opportunity for the CAT.

We wish each and every one of you all the best and thank you once again for being part of the CAT 2009.

Sincerely,
CAT Candidate Care Support
Prometric Testing Pvt. Ltd.
http://www.prometric.com/iim-cat/contactus

_____________________________________________________________

The message I think I would have written, had I been at the helm of affairs would be:

Welcome to the real world! Welcome to LIFE aka the bitch. Its never fair and its never unfair in your favour, as Calvin puts it. We all will always have ups and downs where only ups require your effort. The downs happen without you doing anything! But we accept the reluctantly and try to work our best to undo them or to bypass them. The only true skill in life is performing under pressure/stress--expected (of exam) and more so unexpected (of externalities).

We're sorry you could not give the CAT exam comfortably and our system added to unexpected stress. But then what do you expect a manager to handle? Market, so-called luck, customers, employees, production line, competitors, and (may I dare add) wives and children(!), always keep throwing such unexpected surprises your way. As we've said and we all know in our hearts the best we can do is either live with them or bypass them... or die(!) but you weren't thinking about it, were you?!

Normalization is a shitty concept we create to make us all feel protected from the unfairness going around in life. Normalization is for sissies. Be a man and accept what has come your way. This is what it feels like when shit hits the fan.

So welcome to the real world! We hope you won't break under the stress. In case you do... well that will just improve the gene pool for humans. Good luck fuking life and getting fuked in return!

That said, we don't expect IIM folks to give us the responsibility of conducting CAT next year. If they do we'd be happy to declare that we took the best B-schools in India for a BIG ride! Thanks for the charity you all did for us with your 1400 bucks in exam fees.

\m/
_____________________________________________________________

See why I am not at the helm of affairs! ;-)

Judge Me Please

2009-10-28T03:19:00.000+05:30

And some serious (yes I know this is what I rarely am, but right now I AM!) personal talk before you go on:

- Meenu didi (1, 2) puts it (of course the taunt being towards me!), "insaan ko yeh haq hai ki khud ko samajhdaar samnjhe, but yeh haq nahi hai ki dusro ko bewakoof samjhe"! We all are idiosyncratic, stupids, duds at some or the other things; and so am I. log kya kahenge doesn't work for me. So pls. do not blame me if you read something outrageous, sarcastic, radical, prejudiced, et al. 'coz I am quite comfortable (and more so humble) with - who I am, about my fantasies, my weird problems & solutions, my sexuality, my sense of humour, my social needs! Hey but you gotta critique me! Any opinion is very much welcome :)

- My funda in life is, "people are never wrong in their own place". People do something 'coz they believe in it to be the right thing - hence nothing is neither right nor wrong. Respect existence of every idea; reflect on a few; accept fewer. So don't hate me for being out of place & radical. Just that you and I might be on a different plane of thinking.

- In the long run only intentions matter, not the words; life is all about how you interpret everything. We all are, but I am more deviant than you are!

- I know its human nature, I also do that but still jumping to opinions and passing judgments is something I hate a lot. Pls. at least spare me life before you get prejudiced and generalize something ABOUT ME! Don't take me on the face value, even though mostly it works with other people! Being down-to-earth and childish doesn't mean meek or stupid or ignorant!

- Last but not the least please do not be intimidated to curse me if you feel bad about anything - cursing is always good, and you have the right to free speech ;-) and I love being criticized! Beauty (and hate) are in the eyes of the beholder- that's you!

In the spirit of positive atheism

2008-05-07T14:53:00.000+05:30

"And if there were a God, I think it very unlikely that He would have such an uneasy vanity as to be offended by those who doubt His existence."
-- Bertrand Russell.

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
-- Stephen Roberts

"Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do..And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! ..But He loves you...."
-- George Carlin

"The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also."
-- Mark Twain

"To explain the unknown by the known is a logical procedure; to explain the known by the unknown is a form of theological lunacy."
-- David Brooks

"The beauty of religious mania is that it has the power to explain everything. Once God (or Satan) is accepted as the first cause of everything which happens in the mortal world, nothing is left to chance...logic can be happily tossed out the window."
-- Stephen King

"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires."
-- Susan Anthony

and I can go on and on...

I stop asking the question "Who created it?" at Nature. I consider it supreme.

You go ONE step further saying "God created Nature" and stop there, without asking "Who created God?".

The difference is just a step more, its all in the mind. Nay its foolish if just one step creates/defines a world to you!

What really matters are the deeds, not the beliefs!

... and life does not always go on

2008-04-06T16:59:00.001+05:30

The worst things that can happen to a relationship are misunderstandings/ego/anger/mistrust. Or may be the worst happens AFTER this--when further ego doesn't let anyone take the initiative to fix the issues. Ironically, all it requires is a small gesture of talking that first step--just a phone call, or a sorry, giving personal space, etc.

No matter how much we've opined about cherishing this relationship throughout the life, but when time comes to bent down for its sake, we rarely do. Its not that the opinions/thoughts/wishes were fake, we would've meant it genuinely, willing to beg-borrow-steal for the sake of the relationship, but when it comes to bending back we develop so much inertia in our minds that we let our treasured people go away, without addressing the mis-happenings.

Either people forsake the relationship or last minute desperate attempts to revive it makes love to forsake the relationship. We become too conceited or take our loved ones so much for granted, as to not be able to realize what's going wrong, when it goes wrong. And later it might come to being just a mended survival not a lovable existence.

Alas! just for those few (un)said words, that missed moment, that common-sense that became so uncommon, that presence of mind which never prevailed, that phone call which never came, that explanation which was never given on time, that sensibility which didn't make sense during the storm.... And it raged on!

Hazar rahein mud ke dekhin
Kahin se koi sada na aayi
Badi wafa se nibhayi tumne
Hamari thodi si bewafai

Jahan se tum mod mud gaye the
Ye mod ab hi wahin pade hain
Hum apne pairon mein jaane kitne
Bhanwar lapete hue khade hain

Badi wafa se nibhayi tumne
Hamari thodi si bewafai

Kahin kisi roz yun bhi hota
Hamari haalat tumhari hoti
Jo raat humein guzari marr ke
Vo raat tumne guzari hoti

Badi wafa se nibhayi tumne
Hamari thodi si bewafai

Tumhe ye zid thi ke hum bulate
Humein ye ummid vo pukarein
Hai naam hoton pe ab bhi lekin
Aawaz mein pad gayi dararein

Hazar rahein mud ke dekhim
Kahin se koi sada na aayi
Badi wafa se nibhayi tumne
Hamari thodi si bewafai.

When do we Children Grow up for Parents?

2008-03-08T11:25:00.005+05:30

... never :)

In the context, below is a beautiful dialogue from "Finding Nemo" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0266543). The scene is when Nemo's dad is swimming with the turtles in the East Australian ocean Current (EAC) to reach Sydney to search & rescue Nemo. The big turtle talks to Nemo's dad about their kiddo-turtles hatching out, growing up, being on their own and he 'letting them go' after that. Nemo's dad was very protective and over-caring about Nemo till he gets lost.

{Nemo's dad is respectfully called Jellyman by all turtles since he fights off jelly fishes, deep in the ocean, while searching for Nemo}

(DT = Daddy Turtle, ND =Nemo's Dad)

DT: (speaking to his son) Curl away my son. ( speaking to Nemo's Dad[ND] ) Its awesome, Jellyman.

The little dudes are just eggs.

We leave 'em on a beach to hatch...

and then, coo-coo-cachoo...

They find their way back to the big ol' blue (the ocean).

ND (surprised): All by themselves?

DT: Yeah.

ND: But Dude, how do you know when they're ready.

DT: Well, you (parents!) never really know. But when they know, you'll know, you know? Ha!

I totally love the spirit of the last sentence and his 'ha' expression for obvious reasons :)

Music: Ironically Mother by Floyd started playing from a random playlist

Digital Lives

2008-02-24T07:00:00.001+05:30

First there were those cameras with photographic rolls (the negatives), which needed dark-room developing -- it was costly -- papa never earned so much those days for us to own one of those.

We used to go to studios once in a blue moon to get a family portrait! We yearned for a way to capture every diwali, rakhi, pooja, shaadi, etc. on a reel. Sometimes the blurred away memories were frustrating. We wished to get clicked more often.

And then we grew up, got rich, digital revolution came and...
Now we have a 'digicam' & a 'handycam' to record every 'potential memory', to document every single day mischiefs of didi's daughter, to click and shoot anywhere and anything we want, that too without second thoughts of wasting a negative! Now no pics are so special which we'll frame and cherish for years to come [1,2]. Photographs have become just another file-formats!

That was then and this is now. We are still yearning...

Tags Galore

2006-12-18T20:40:00.000+05:30

Here is the tag of '3's taken over from Pri's.
Mostly it is 'coz this is introspective and slightly 'coz I wanted to make up for not taking Pri's previous tag and I needed something to post, as the blog has been complaining a lot lately ;-)

Anyways, here I go without much digressions ...

3 smells I love:
- any home made food! (yeah I live to eat :D)
- obnoxious smells of chemicals, etc. Not that I dig them much but I do love to sniff a 2nd or 3rd time if they hit my nose once! We had vials of acetone, xylene, glycerine at home in our fridge which I loved to sniff once in a while:D of course other smells were available in papa's lab! oh & not to forget the Kipp's apparatus :P
- her hair! (okok I know it is not exactly a smell per se, but a manifestation of my feelings! but what the heck, I love it :"> )

3 smells I hate:
- perfumes!!! (I don't know why but probably it is this thot in my head that no one needs to make up and fake up. I hate any makeup whatsoever :| )
- BO.
- those ones emanating from open drains, gutters in city :(

3 jobs I had in my life:
hehe! what kind of tag is this Pri? You should have modified the points for jobless people :P If thank you services also count then may be I do have 3 jobs to talk about!
- unofficial and official system administrator in hostel for 2 years (had helluva painful time)
- student rep in computer center of insti (I wish I had kicked a lot more ass than I did. Though I'm darn proud of never ever doing any moral policing:) )
- lately was freelancing online.

3 forever-watchable movies:
- don't argue about JUST THIS one - I do hate typical hindi movies but somehow I have already watched 'Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein' more than a dozen times. All my frnds are sick of the movie now :P
- Some of these high rated (by me) romantic movies, the so called chick flicks!
- hardcore War movies with lotsa action.

3 fond memories:
- preparations for IIT entrance! (it was Gupta Tutorials, 2000-01, nearly killed us, but was worth it - the teachers, frnds, hardwork, IIT itself!)
- 1st year in college (i know, i know this one counts for everyone)
- THAT first kiss :> (no comments ;) )

3 jobs I'd love to have:
(un)fortunately I am not the so-called career oriented guy, as I like to put it 'an unambitious slog':| So the jobs I crave for are average ones only. I sincerely believe money corrupts + I would never do a job that holds me away from my family after 7-8 pm! There are bigger joys in smaller things, than just slogging :|
- be a technical lead in some small startup IT company :)
- be a technical writer, writing in IT field.
- to be a registered doctor (and to quote Pri, "sigh! everyone can dream cant they ??:-/")

3 things I love to do:
how ridiculous to give only 3 options for things that any person would love to do!!! So I think I'll put generic stuff here instead of any particular activities.

- Talk with & listen to frnds, at a personal level.
- Live. well everyone loves to be alive :P but what I mean is more or less summed up in these lines from the movie Demolition Man - "I like to think; I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech and freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder - "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of barbecued ribs with the side order of gravy fries?" I WANT high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and BUCKETS of cheese, okay? I want to smoke Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I want to run through the streets naked with green jello all over my body reading playboy magazine."
(mind you, I don't run naked anywhere, haven't ever read playboy (there is better p0rn literature to read!), and don't eat non-veg but I hope you get the gist, from these lines, of what is meant by 'living'!)

3 of my fav foods:
again what a limited choice of options for a person who lives to eat ;-)
- ALL vegetables, when cooked by mum! (i know its weird, but somehow all vegetables are my fav. even be it the kadwa karela)
- self-plucked fruits! (sigh! such fantasies rarely materialize!)
- Continental and Chinese food at typical restaurants in the city, though always experimenting:D (I don't drink colddrinks, tea; don't like pizzas, always cut down on bread, hate fried stuff and mostly desist fast food!. . . phew i know to some ppl I am boring :-" )

3 places I would like to be right now:
- Delhi, for obvious reasons ;)
- New York! there are other personal reasons too!
- any green mountain ranges - partly lost and mostly trekking!

3 things which make me cry:
shit! why was this question here?
- senti dad-son scenes in movies :|
- the way tunnel-visioned parents still smother their children :|
- some songs which are of significance in my personal life (I'm compiling them into an album!)

Phew so many thoughts ..... I think I am gonna fall out and get some fresh morning breeze! Its 7am and I am getting all senti about being myself, since last 2 hours!
And the tag goes out to anyone who wants to take it up :-) I'd love to read everything anyone might have to say.

Current Music: Switchfoot! I'm Learning To Breathe, I'm learning to crawl ...

A Farcical

2006-07-14T10:07:00.000+05:30

- "IITian nahi to kam se kam engineer to honi hi chahiye."

- "dekhne mein sundar to ho; figure to thoda accha ho. koi dekhe to tareef to kare ki kitni acchi dikhti hai ladki."

- "Business families mein koi padhai-likhai par dhayaan to deta nahi hai.. unke bacche bhi sab aise hi bewakoof hote hai."

- "dilli, bumbai ki ladkiya sab aisi hi hoti hai.. kal kisi aur ke saath, aaj tere saath, parso kisi aur ke saath hogi. hum rooz dekhte hai ladkiyon ko yaha par, kaise aage peeche ghoomti rehti hai ladko ko phasane ke liye; aur ladke bewakoof hote hai, kuch smajhte nahi hai."

- "B.Com bhi koi degree hoti hai kya?.. aur ghar baithe to koi gadha bhi MBA kar leta hai. in sab degrees ki koi value nahi hoti."

- "obesity ke karan old age mein kitni bimariya hoti hai tumhe pata nahi hai.. high cholesterol, heart problems, high blood pressure, etc... puri life bus bimariyon ka illaj hi karwate rehna, tab pata chalega."

- "obesity aur yeh sab health problems future generations ko bhi pass over ho sakti hai!"

- "ho sakta hai apne baare mein sab jhoot bol rahi ho... tujhe kya pata woh wahi hai jo bol rahi hai... accha khasa bewakoof IITian ladka mil gaya to koi ladki chodti hai kya?"

- "ho bhi sakta hai woh aur uske parents, sab mil kar yeh plot kar rahe ho... making you believe all that so that you develop sympathy for her.. unhe to accha bhadiya IITian ladka mil raha hai."

- "looks, money, degree yeh sab bhi matter karta hai. pyar-vyar kuch nahi hota. saath rehne lag jao to kuch time mein kutte se bhi pyar ho jaata hai."

- "hum bhi is age se gujar chuke hai. tujhse zyada humne duniya dekhi hai. thode time baad sab bhool jaate hai. yeh sab timepass hota hai. koi kisi ko yaad nahi rakhta."

- "we always trusted in you soo much. this is such a breach of our faith in you."

- "log kya kahenge!"

Current Mood & Music: Read here.

Making of an Inter caste Marriage

2006-06-23T02:42:00.000+05:30

Sorry for a long one but a read would be worth your every minute :)

Though this is just a funny forwarded short story about parents' skepticism and a lesson in humanity for them but for once I seriouslly wish I should have tried something similar!! What appeared to me as a wonderful exemplification of "Honesty is the best policy", turned out to be a bombing exercise back home - when I dropped in the bomb ;-)

Oh anyways, I am digressing again. Those stories are gonna be more spicy, realistic than this but some other day! Right now I'm feeling great about having such a nice fwd. mail after what seems like ages! And it goes thus . . .

Grandmother was pretending to be lost in prayer, but her prayer-beads were spinning at top speed. That meant she was either excited or upset. Mother put the receiver down. "Some American girl in his office, she's coming to stay with us for a week." She sounded as if she had a deep foreboding. Father had no such doubt. He knew the worst was to come. He had been matching horoscopes for a year, but my brother Vivek had found a million excuses for not being able to visit India, call any of the chosen Iyer girls, or in any other way advance father's cause. Father always wore four parallel lines of sacred ash on his forehead. Now there were eight, so deep were the furrows of worry on his forehead. I sat in a corner, supposedly lost in a book, but furiously text-messaging my brother with a vivid description of the scene before me.

A few days later I stood outside the airport with father. He tried not to look directly at any American woman going past, and held up the card reading "Barbara".

Finally a large woman stepped out, waved wildly and shouted "Hiiii! Mr. Aayyyezh, how ARE you?" Everyone turned and looked at us. Father shrank visibly before my eyes. Barbara took three long steps and covered father in a tight embrace.
Father's jiggling out of it was too funny to watch.
I could hear him whispering "Shiva shiva!".
She shouted "you must be Vijaantee?"
"Yes, Vyjayanthi" I said with a smile.
I imagined little half-Indian children calling me "Vijaantee aunty!".

Suddenly, my colorless existence in Madurai had perked up. For at least the next one week, life promised to be quite exciting.
Soon we were eating lunch at home. Barbara had changed into an even shorter skirt. The low neckline of her blouse was just in line with father's eyes.

He was glaring at mother as if she had conjured up Barbara just to torture him.
Barbara was asking "You only have vegetarian food? Always??" as if the idea was shocking to her. "You know what really goes well with Indian food, especially chicken? Indian beer!" she said with a pleasant smile, seemingly oblivious to the apoplexy of the gentleman in front of her, or the choking sounds coming from mother.
I had to quickly duck under the table to hide my giggles.

Everyone tried to get the facts without asking the one question on all our minds: "What was the exact nature of the relationship between Vivek and Barbara?"

She brought out a laptop computer. "I have some pictures of Vivek" she said. All of us crowded around her. The first picture was quite innocuous. Vivek was wearing shorts, and standing alone on the beach. In the next photo, he had Barbara draped all over him. She was wearing a skimpy bikini and leaning across, with her hand lovingly circling his neck.

Father got up, and flicked the towel off his shoulder. It was a gesture we in the family had learned to fear. He literally ran to the door and went out.
Barbara said "It must be hard for Mr. Aayyezh. He must be missing his son."
We didn't have the heart to tell her that if said son had been within reach, father would have lovingly wrung his neck.

My parents and grandmother apparently had reached an unspoken agreement. They would deal with Vivek later. Right now Barbara was a foreigner, a lone woman, and needed to be treated as an honored guest. It must be said that Barbara didn't make that one bit easy. Soon mother wore a perpetual frown. Father looked as though he could use some of that famous Indian beer.

Vivek had said he would be in a conference in Guatemala all week, and would be off both phone and email. But Barbara had long lovey-dovey conversations with two other men, one man named Steve and another named Keith.

The rest of us strained to hear every interesting word. "I miss you!" she said to both. She also kept talking with us about Vivek, and about the places they'd visited together. She had pictures to prove it, too. It was all very confusing.

This was the best play I'd watched in a long time. It was even better than the day my cousin ran away with a Telugu Christian girl. My aunt had come howling through the door, though I noticed that she made it to the plushest sofa before falling in a faint. Father said that if it had been his child, the door would have been forever shut in his face.
Aunt promptly revived and said "You'll know when it is your child!"
How my aunt would rejoice if she knew of Barbara!

On day five of her visit, the family awoke to the awful sound of Barbara's retching. The bathroom door was shut, the water was running, but far louder was the sound of Barbara crying and throwing up at the same time. Mother and grandmother exchanged ominous glances.

Barbara came out, and her face was red. "I don't know why", she said, "I feel queasy in the mornings now." If she had seen as many Indian movies as I'd seen, she'd know why.

Mother was standing as if turned to stone. Was she supposed to react with the compassion reserved for pregnant women? With the criticism reserved for pregnant unmarried women? With the fear reserved for pregnant unmarried foreign women who could embroil one's son in a paternity suit?
Mother, who navigated familiar flows of married life with the skill of a champion oarsman, now seemed completely taken off her moorings.

She seemed to hope that if she didn't react it might all disappear like a bad dream. I made a mental note to not leave home at all for the next week. Whatever my parents would say to Vivek when they finally got a-hold of him would be too interesting to miss. But they never got a chance.

The day Barbara was to leave, we got a terse email from Vivek. "Sorry, still stuck in Guatemala. Just wanted to mention, another friend of mine, Sameera Sheikh, needs a place to stay. She'll fly in from Hyderabad tomorrow at 10am. Sorry for the trouble."

So there we were, father and I, with a board saying "Sameera". At last a pretty young woman in salwar-khameez saw the board, gave the smallest of smiles, and walked quietly towards us. When she did 'Namaste' to father, I thought I saw his eyes mist up.

She took my hand in the friendliest way and said "Hello, Vyjayanthi, I've heard so much about you." I fell in love with her. In the car father was unusually friendly. She and Vivek had been in the same group of friends in Ohio University. She now worked as a Child Psychologist.

She didn't seem to be too bad at family psychology either. She took out a shawl for grandmother, a saree for mother and Hyderabadi bangles for me.
"Just some small things. I have to meet a professor at Madurai university, and it's so nice of you to let me stay" she said. Everyone cheered up. Even grandmother smiled.
At lunch she said "This is so nice. When I make sambar, it comes out like chole, and my chole tastes just like sambar".
Mother was smiling. "Oh just watch for 2 days, you'll pick it up."
Grandmother had never allowed a muslim to enter the kitchen. But mother seemed to have taken charge, and decided she would bring in who ever she felt was worthy.

Sameera circumspectly stayed out of the puja room, but on the third day, I was stunned to see father inviting her in and telling her which idols had come to him from his father. "God is one" he said. Sameera nodded sagely.

By the fifth day, I could see the thought forming in the family's collective brains. If this fellow had to choose his own bride, why couldn't it be someone like Sameera?
On the sixth day, when Vivek called from the airport saying he had cut short his Gautemala trip and was on his way home, all had a million things to discuss with him.

He arrived by taxi at a time when Sameera had gone to the University.
"So, how was Barbara's visit?" he asked blithely.
"How do you know her?" mother asked sternly.
"She's my secretary" he said. "She works very hard, and she'll do anything to help."

He turned and winked at me. Oh, I got the plot now!

By the time Sameera returned home that evening, it was almost as if her joining the family was the elders' idea.

"Don't worry about anything", they said, "we'll talk with your parents."

On the wedding day a huge bouquet arrived from Barbara.

"Flight to India - $1500.
Indian kurta - $5.
Emetic to throw up - $1.
The look on your parents' faces - priceless" it said.

What I Want ?

2006-05-17T11:27:00.000+05:30

Haven't been blogging since the whole month! Had end semester exams in april then project work and after that when I got time to sit back and think I realised how much I was missing her ever since she has shifted :-( And this past fortnight has been THE LOWEST time in my life, sleepless, hungerless, highly emotional, tearful sometimes, hurtful, and was quite a turmoil.

Noo do not start with your own set of worries and consolations 'coz I am back to normal again, almost normal :D Going home right away and I know I am gonna be my bubbly self again :-)

The last week saw breaking of some of my own rules which appealed to me strongly all my life, but I realised I was immature! I've always believed in giving everyone their freedom and personal space, so much so that putting aside my expectations I never spoke about what I wanted - I just always tagged along with whatever she wanted!

But off late I think it has lead to soo many unfulfilled expectations that they were eating me inside out :-(( I guess we are all humans, not god-like. With so much time, effort and feelings invested in, we do expect things back. Probably striking a balance between expecting and demanding and giving our loved ones their freedom is what it is all about :-?

I feel this works only when the other person does NOT work under any obligation and strikes a balance between getting his/her happiness and fulfilling other's expectations. If he/she knows how to say NO sometimes and still care with all their heart I would say thats THE PERFECT MATCH!

There is a lot of joy in fulfulling the desires of our loved ones, the desire to be needed. When we are of some use to others, when we are indespensible it boosts self esteem and makes us feel more loved and needed.

I am quoting the following lines from a book on friendship titled "I Love You Just Because". Incidently, I got this book for standing 1st in V standard. Donno why I saved it all along, and for no reason carried it here to my hostel room from home. May be I was meant to be realising the depth of these words NOW, even though I have been reading this book over and over again all these years! Though written for friends I believe it equally applies to loved ones too.

Sweetheart, I hope you will understand what I want and be an 'Open Book'. It is not always about giving, it is about taking also - if one doesn't take how can the other give? I know we both have NOT been this way and I haven't been soo true to my heart, but I have come out of my shell, now the turn is your's.

________________________________________________________________

"I remember hating
a professor
for a strange reason.
He would not let me
do anything for him.
If I opened the door for him
he would shove me through.
If I offered to
be of service
he turned me down
with some snide remark
about not being helpless.
He was smug and
self sufficient.
He needed nothing
from me.
And I hated him.
Why?
I had a need to be needed.
He frustrated that need.

To have friends
we need humility.

A person who is
so full of himself
that there is
no room for anyone else
in his life
will go thru’ life friendless.

We cannot build friendships
by towering over others.
We have to get down
from our high horse
of pride and self-centeredness
and meet people
on ground level.

A proud and selfish person
finds it impossible to see value
in another person-
any value or importance
that is meaningful to him.
If he cannot see this,
he cannot enter into a
genuine friendship,
because when we extend
the palm of friendship
we are telling someone:
“You are important to me
You bring new value
into my life.”

Friends need to be needed.
We have to allow our friends
to be of service.
This doesn’t mean
we can become
overbearing in our demands
on his time and talent.
But it does mean
we must graciously
accept whatever services
he wants to render.

There is no comfort
or solace in my gifts
and talents unless
there is someone
who needs me."

_____________________________________________________________

All said and done I have been feeling lighter since 2 days, more relaxed than before. I am getting my normal sleep again and dont spent the night counting cobwebs on my ceiling ;-)

I am leaving for home right away. Shall be back on 30th May. My online life would be going at a snail's pace, doing the bare minimum things. Wont be active on blogger, orkut and YM.
Bye for the time being, I shall see all of you around in June :-)

Another of my Unfulfilled Dream

2006-04-24T06:12:00.000+05:30

UPDATE:
Firstly, my heartfelt thanks to each and every wish for b'day and exam and general ones. It over-whelming! I've never had so many b'day wishes before :D Belated ones are still flowing in ;) Well I sincerely believe that when wishes are for a whole lifetime then a few days here and there don't matter :) Thanks neetie. Oh the same goes for thanks too ;) So pls everyone accept my belated thanks - was 'busy killing-time' (sounds so oxymoronic!) and with exams hence did not reply to comments.

Secondly, I had not thought that half the people reading it would fall for the prank even after seeing the date ;-) Still those who fell for the prank - their wishes for a better life were over whelming. No I am not going anywhere. Just getting degree normally, normal job, an average life overall :P
________________________________________________________

Wrote this years ago. But its now that I cannot sleep whole night missing someone and affirming my belief in miracles at 5 am!

What if I knew a lil' bit of Magic ?
These nights wouldn't have been, then, so tragic.
for,then I won't be dozing off here.
instead, we would have been near.

I wouldn't have to sit here & miss you so much.
would have fulfiled my wish, of you to touch.
yes, to touch you, to feel you, to talk to you all night.
since u are the only thing that seem so right.

But ain't I making a fool of the reality around me.
but isn't it you and your name that right now surround me?
Oh yes, even this reality is soo relative a term, it seems!
Anyways this magic will remain just another of my unfulfilled dreams.

Location : balcony of my room after an all-nighter. early morning time.
. . . and wanting to fly to her !!

Current Music: I Believe in Miracles!

...finally

2006-04-01T09:50:00.000+05:30

Thanks to all who wished me and who are gonna wish me, on fool's day ;-)

I am remembering how wonderful this day was last year :) But since then lotsa things have changed! And also I have got really bored of this place :( I mean I am doing nothing at all - feel like living a dog's life - eating and sleeping (even worse there aren't any bitches around!!!! hehehe)

I cann't see where this stupid degree in chemical engg. is gonna take me! I find no one working as chemical engineer after going out from here, all of us are gonna be in IT or management fields! And so long in here.... I am already pissed off too much and just want to get out of here asap! I need change!

These schoolmates of mine (one from IITB and another from IITR) have started JEE coaching, which I am planning to go for! To hell with this degree!!!!!!! Coaching business pays a lot more than this degree can fetch me and I've always loved teaching! Finally I am gonna be a 'freebird' again :) I am ditching my final year project and this good-for-nothing degree and moving over with them . . . would leave the institute for good, very soon!

Ahhh . . . . FINALLY . . . AT LAST!

Have been contemplating since so long; parents are yet to know.
Given the busy schedules in teaching I wont be here in blog world anymore - this could as well be taken to be my last post! I am gonna miss all you guys and my close online friends *hugs* & this room, this hostel :-(

I am SORRY to each and everyone whom I have hurt in ANY way; I've always been a very frank person and hurting was never intentional!

Finally wish me luck!!! I am gonna need loads of it.
Goodbye =;

Current Songs : Lynyrd Skynard's Freebird, and ICK's - Fuck The World!

Facts or Fantasy?

2006-03-22T22:53:00.000+05:30

Cross posting from my other blog; from jokes to ponderings!

TO MY DEAR WIFE:

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.
I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.

The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean

17 times it was too late

49 times you were too tired

20 times it was too hot

15 times you pretended to be sleep

22 times you had a headache

17 times you were afraid of waking the baby

16 times you said you were too sore

12 times it was the wrong time of the month

19 times you had to get up early

9 times you said weren't in the mood

7 times you were sunburned

6 times you were watching the late show

5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo

3 times you said the neighbors would hear us

9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:

6 times you just laid there

8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling

4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with

7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished

1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

_________________________________________________________

TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:

5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat

36 times you did not come home at all

21 times you didn't cum

33 times you came too soon

19 times you went soft before you got in

38 times you worked too late

10 times you got cramps in your toes

29 times you had to get up early to play golf

2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls

4 times you got it stuck in your zipper

3 times you had a cold and your nose was running

2 times you had a splinter in your finger

20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day

6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book

98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc. on TV

Of the times we did get together, the reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.

I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"

The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.

_________________________________________________________

Thanks to our depriving & exhausting urban lifestyles complicated by sexual conservatism & sorry state of teenage sex education :(

Current Mood: went off on one of my censurable tangents!
Current Thought: What % of Indian women might be living unsatiated lives - knowingly & UNKNOWINGLY, both ???

How is it to live in Bra?

2006-03-06T06:11:00.000+05:30

Yes, you heard it right! Living in the bra!

Imagine this:

you : Hi! long time no see.
me : Hey! Its just that I have changed places, hence ....
you : wow! So where are you living these days?
me : In bra!
you : WTF ?!?!?!

So something clicked in your head ??

Ok Ok, here is that bra - have a look yourself ;) Some more info on wikipedia.

Now dont curse me :P

~~~

updated later: Oops that site talks about:
"Let Us Watch Bra for You"
"Bra Deals"
"Hot deals"
"Write a review. What was your experience with Bra? Tell others what's hot and what's not."
"Bra Maps".
*sigh*

{updated 15th March}: I am sorry for those people who might be 'hurt' by such a post - taking the cat out of the bag - talking of bras in open :O
Oh my god what a pervert! Well but then my mom wears one!
Damn Hypocrites! You girls would wear a bra everyday but still be uncomfortable to see just the name in public? WTF ?!?!?! Do you feel ashamed wearing it or wat? Thankfully such people dont live in this bra city, would have died of shame! But then what about the ones living on Lesbos Island - origin of the word lesbian though its got nothing to do with the people living there!

Wats wrong with a bra? In fact you might as well appreciate its use and history - go read it HERE. Perversion I believe comes with intentions not thru' knowledge of something as basic & quintessential as a bra.
I might as well add that I find them beautiful & OKAY! And I dont mind asking my sister about them {Thankfully she isn't a moron, she is a doctor so understands} And discuss sizing and measurements with my GF!

Oh and I came across this link while reading CIA's world factbook :D

Dream Guy

2006-02-26T23:32:00.000+05:30

"Since childhood every girl has some picture of her dream boy or prince charming in her mind. "How should he look like, what qualities should he have?”, and many more things. And they always believe that someone somewhere is definitely made for us.

I also have some expectations, some pictures in my mind about my soul mate. How he looks is not important to me but ‘does he love me or not’ is definitely the first and important thing that I would like to know. He may not be fair and handsome, but he should be smart enough. He should have a personality of his own. The one with such a charisma and character that people always get attracted towards him. But he should be intelligent and well educated too.

The one who cares for me as a small baby whenever needed and the one who corrects me whenever I am wrong, who scolds me for my mistakes, and praises me when I am right. The one whom I can respect and get the same from him also. The one who can speak his heart out to me and listens to me, without being defensive.

He should have a mind of his own and should not be afraid to voice his opinions. He should be confident enough physically as well as emotionally. The one who helps me to know myself more and more and the one who can control my anger, as when I am angry I am as bad as a lioness. The one with whom my chemistry, understanding ability should be such that when we are not together, still we can make out what would be going in the other person’s mind.

The main thing is he shouldn’t smoke and drink (not at all). He should be friendly to everyone. The one who asks me my desires and wants and never get offended by the truth.

He should pay the same respect to my parents as he has for his own parents. He shouldn’t be their son-in-law, but son. And be a big brother to my younger brothers. He himself should be residing with his parents, brothers and sisters, and not away from them.

Finally financial stability does matter. I am not seeking for a luxurious life, but a happy and comfortable life. He shouldn’t be hesitant while talking to me about his problems. How small it may be, doesn’t matter to me, it may be mentally, financially or physically or any other – he should discuss it with me.

Last but not the least he may not be perfect , but I want an imperfect person in a perfect way."

Its mind boggling and I am speechless!
I feel zapped out!

Skirting Around in Summers!

2006-01-20T17:21:00.000+05:30

I am very fond of skirts! Nooo, not wearing them but of girls wearing them!!! But as such I have never had any particular choices when it comes to MY OWN clothes. So much so that even these days when I go shopping with parents (back at home) I always get some scolding in front of the shopkeeper :-(

Mumma : So, which piece do you like *beep* ? {that beep is my nickname at home!!!}

Me : Arre they all are so nice, I am kinda confused. Any one of them would be great to have.

Papa: But still let us know your own choice.

Me : Anything would do fine papa.

Didi : All of them are so good, still we cannot get all of them. Suggest which one is appealing to you.

Me : All appeal to me equally, take anything!

They : {mentally.. wtf?!?!?!}

. . . . silence . . . .

Me : C'mon its just a piece of cloth, anything 2 m long is sufficient to cover the body <hehehe... pardon my exaggeration but thats how I tell them - I am ALWAYS in a mood for a bad joke >:) >

They (in unison, to me) : What kinda guy are you? Guys your age are soo choosy; they have soo many nakhras, and you dont even have any choices. At least one should be having some choices in life. You seem to always go fine with whatever you are given; even fine if you are given nothing! Whats the matter with you? What wrong with you? Why are so weird?

They (in unison, to each other) : Lets make it quick and just go home. He does not even want to look good and is not gonna have any choices of his own. Lets take whatever we like and give it to him!

Me (to myself) : Yayy! Finally this commotion ends & I get a new dress from papa! (actually I can shop them myself, but I've rarely shopped clothes in mumbai!!!! I love getting them from papa :"> )

It would be so demeaning, to myself as a person, the day I would be needed to wear so-called good looking clothes to look good to others! To hell with that shirt and that trouser. My hard-washing habits and rough usage are anyways gonna leave them shabby in a year or two! Anyways, nothing is gonna go back home from 110 (thats my room!).

I just cannot be flashy :( Yes I hate myself for that but I cannot help - when it comes to showing off I somehow feel damn ignorant or shy or lacking or having no choices at all :O

I am all game for simple styles. While in some cases (like eating :D) exotic is the keyword to get me going, but with most other things simplicity is a killer for me!
Guess it was their simplicity and beauty that captivated me; have a look at these skirts yourselves. But the knee-length skirts look much prettier and cute :-) Oh between the skirts are modelled by Shweta Gupta, in Malad !!!

~~~~~

Edit: adding those pics here, to my account, I am skeptical of mid-day people removing them someday! (These pics probably are owned by those who got them done - Shoppers Stop in In Orbit Mall, Malad; and are done by Eva Talent).

My 7 Sins!

2006-01-08T18:51:00.000+05:30

I would want to confess something terrible here. If I sound gross please accept my thousand apologies. But then I ain't even writing here a post for you to read, I am feeling extremely guilty of committing of the deadly ones. And I am sure by now they would have already booked a place for me in the hell :

Ok Ok I am yet to do something so horrbily gross that I'll need to stand in some confession box begging God's mercy on my happy little life! But (of all 7 sins) I do plead guilty of SLOTH :-( Sorry camphor dear for taking this long to complete this tag. I hope you won't kill me and would cool off after breaking just a few bones;) But you wrote all that in angrezi, it took me all this while to figure it out and read that Rapidex thing ;-) Welll, actually I was dilly-dallying first and then it slipped my mind while killing soo much time during holidays and sleeping 12 hours a day :D You see, I am suffering for this disease where I forget things after a goodnight sleep *nail biting*

So here goes the tag thing :-)

7 things that I plan to do:

- publish my drafted posts soon ;)

- read, read and read some more.

- live a love-filled life. could be a short one! doesn't matter.

- do some kind of social work, sometime after passing out of college.

- write and compose a song and sing it to her, may be on her b'day or on our anniversary!!

- get a job ;)

- NOT to ever have a job that keeps me away from home/family in evenings or at night.

7 things that I can do:

- be a true friend to anyone who reciprocate back with the same committment!

- brain storming! I love looong looong cack sessions or to manage/decide/formulate POAs.

- play pranks! practical ones; can get really nasty; others bad that I get quite convincing too!

- kill time! I mean I can really kill time- doing things that do not count - don't even count towards wasted time; cannot even account as to where the hours went!

- wait! I can wait on people for hours without minding it! You got late - no problems! Always carry my bag and a book and something to eat in it :D

- sleep! When I gotta sleep I sleep - roommate or parents may get locked out till I've had my sleep. Even if the wingies 2-3 rooms down the corridor might feel vibrations in their stomach from the heavy metal playing on my speakers+woofers I can still be blissfully asleep!

- love! I can love immensely. Its like 'ek ka do, ek ka do' :D Whoever gives love gets double in return. As munnu bhaiyya opines, my love too isn't like a mobile balance, which gets exhausted once I dial someone! Its more like a response to incoming calls, toll free for all, 24/7.

7 things that I cann't do:

- cannot lie to her {how I wish, sometimes I could :P}

- moral policing! There are times when you wished you were the GOD to set the things right, but I believe in natural selection, junta's power, survival of the fittest and the most important gift to mankind that even gods cannot control - FREE WILL! (saw bruce almighty).... no matter what someone does and no matter how much power I have over the situation I never do moral policing.

- stop cursing people! Though I dont police them but I do curse them ;-) Just now someone left 2 loaves of bread in mess and I wished he'd die of hunger!!!!!! {oh well sounds pretty rude of me but visit the mess once- though food ain't good but its no excuse to waste it!}

- get along with liars! I just cannot tolerate habitual liars :-( Though the world is full of them and I am a big liar but not a habitual one. I hate those who lie out of habit rather than reason.

- stop preaching ;-) I'll always have something to tell you about how I feel about something... not really any advice for free but just some conversation. I love doing that and cannot refrain from it!

- cannot stop eating! I am self confessed foodacholic :D I love eating, I can eat day-in and day-out, as long as its got something junk about it or mumma's love its all mine- any time of the day/night! I have one funda in life, "Never to restrict myself from eating and be shameless when it comes to food". Dieting ain't the solution, later diet-management can be done or excess calories would be burned but while eating I have my full - i mean a fully satisfied mind not stomach ;-) Yes that means overeating dinners from mumma's kitchen!

- pretend! or rather I should say I cannot be cunning :( I've had my parents scolding me n number of times and having stumbled a lot more myself... I always say, fk this! I am not gonna be duped by foxy people anymore and again someone comes up and screws me :(( To tell you frankly I hate myself for not being the man who can sell the world!

7 words I use most often:

- wat the fuck?

- biatch.

- dayaaa.

- *beep* *beep* {well I ain't any beeper! I am saying it, but you aren't getting me ;-) }

- I am loving it! {yeahhh McDs people stole my words X( }

- Life is all about interpretations.

- Its life honey, live it! {that I tell to myself; the secret behind that ever smiling face :}

I wouldn't be passing the baton to anyone in particular. Whoever wants to take the tag can jump right in. Still I would like Vandy and Archana to volunteer for this tag >:) *wicked smile*

Some place only we know

2006-01-05T21:31:00.001+05:30

If you are in concord and willing

to let this bench be a witness,

Of a never ending journey

of happy moments wrapped in sweetness.

All I ask for is that bench
your soothing words and a warm embrace,
A journey in time and space
Us alone, away from this rat race.

Not thru' this road leading nowhere
& neither as your beau.
Rather as a caring companion
To that magical place only we know!

And I've got all the minutes you want,

If you promise to take my hand

leading me to a place so grand

perhaps what they call as a heavenly land.

To a place where we talk and we listen
& our love, on each other, we bestow.
A place where I give you the best of all the worlds.
That place, which only I know, which only you know!

Inspiration : The photo above, from Archana's collection.
Location : lying around my room!

Aries & Leo

2005-12-30T09:50:00.000+05:30

Try your luck here if curious.

Aries & Leo

When Aries and Leo come together in a love affair, the sparks will fly! Both are Fire Signs, passionate and dynamic, with a healthy love of sportsmanship and competition. There is a lot of action in this relationship. Both Signs want to be the boss ~~and problems can arise when their equally-large egos get in the way~~. These partners have genuine admiration and respect for each other, but they need to learn to take turns commanding and giving orders -- even when they're only choosing a movie at the video store!

This partnership is all about fiery passion, domination and who's on top -- and when! Both Signs can be impatient ~~and proud~~. Leo likes to be adored and their egos to be stroked, services which easily-bored Aries may not want to provide. ~~Aries may also be bothered by Leo's flirtatious nature~~ -- but this relationship is always exciting. Despite their sometimes noisy differences, Aries often looks to Leo as a guide or counselor. Leo is the Lion(ess!) and, with Leo, Aries can be the lamb. As in the myth (The Lion and the Lamb), any differences between these two can be overcome. Both Signs are usually respected by others and it's important that this respect exists within the relationship as well.

Aries is ruled by the Planet Mars and Leo is ruled by the Sun. Both are masculine energy archetypes, and together they make a good combination -- they understand each other because they're coming from the same place. The Sun is about the self and Mars is about aggressive energy, so they're highly compatible and can make a powerful team.

Both Aries and Leo are Fire Signs. This tends to be a very heated and passionate relationship. When it's good it's very, very good, but when it's bad it's all about loud arguments and damaged egos. In this partnership there's always competition as to who's in charge. Since a love relationship shouldn't be about power, this can become a problem. Both of these Signs have boundless energy, so both will always be on the go. Although they may disagree often, their differences of opinion don't last long -- ~~Aries is too busy moving on to the next challenge to hold a grudge. Leo needs to remember not to be resentful if their Aries lover doesn't show them enough respect.~~

Aries is a Cardinal Sign and Leo is a Fixed Sign. Aries gives Leo the assertiveness to charge ahead and take chances, while Leo can help teach Aries to stabilize and follow things through. Aries may sometimes hurt Leo's feelings by saying something hurtful without thinking. Conversely, Aries may be irritated by Leo's bossy nature and tendency to sulk. But they're both loyal and care about each other deeply, and when they can understand there doesn't have to be a boss, their relationship can be exciting bliss.

What's the best aspect of the Aries-Leo relationship? The mutual admiration both Signs share for one another. With Aries as the initiator and Leo as the one who follows through, they both have their integral niche within the partnership. Their mutual energy and passion makes theirs a dynamic relationship.

PS: I stuck out the text not applicable and highlighted the one which is highly applicable to US ;)

My kind II

2005-12-10T22:28:00.000+05:30

here is My Kind I.
looking more for a personality, less for a person!!!

Worrying* proposals invited: Wanted a guardian angel in human disguise. intellectually strong and philosophically independent. Witticism, high grasping power, infinite learning capacity are must. pre-learnt lessons and wisdom are not a requirement at all. but a strong desire to grow and learn together is what is considered ideal by me. need to be curious as a cat and faithful as a dog. should value her freedom more than anything else. one who treasures love and knows how to safekeep it. who has a silly sense of humour and can crack silly and even obnoxious jokes, as well as enjoy them.

Should be an early bird, and capable of getting me out of the bed, not to mention getting me in bed too :D Emotionally stable but can throw tantrums once in a while. being free+inclined enough and self-conscious too, to take some carefree hours for her ownself are definite pre-requisites. Should be extremely frank and verbal about her needs, feelings as well as thoughts. should also actively respond to verbal and physical communications.

Talkative eyes, good hairs, captivating smile and a responsive body (any figure does fine) are a must- and should know how to use them i.e. should be flirtatious. should be a good cook, exotic cuisine is not a necessity. should be daring and a darling, both! any kind of hatred for mankind is unacceptable. should definitely be able to appreciate small beauties of nature and life.

Listening : Smash Mouth's - I'm a Believer. (coincidently!)

* W.I.F.E = Worries Invited For Ever !

Compendium of Comments- Part 4

2005-11-24T08:43:00.000+05:30

* You drool at the moon from down here When u go to the moon, u drool at the beauty of the earth above ;) Thats life aint it? - Smyta

* Bombay toh jana hi hoga... I gotta kick your ass man... hopefully teri shaadi ki mandap par... dulhan dekhti reh jaayegi! :D - Sayesha to me

* Software enigneers sometimes make me all the more sure of the stupid world they belong to(I m one too...I spread stupidity in some other way..tht's all)!:-) - Smyta to Nitz

* Understanding men? I suggest you climb Mt Everest. Much easier !!! :)) - Silverline to Camphor.

* Smyta to CC:
It is so sweet of you to pour the words my way
Every single word is defnitely important to my day
Whether has been told before or not, it is indeed ur say
Even if words are few it was in a nice interplay
Just that keep celebrating life and be happy and gay
Life is but what me offer to it and what we pay.

*

Compendium of Comments- Part 3

2005-11-18T15:14:00.000+05:30

(here are parts 1 & 2)

* giggling is one phenomenon that never leaves a girl, never mind her age! - Swathi

* all my life i was waiting for my perfect women but when I met her she was also looking for her perfect men! -tony to arunima

* i will marry the first one who agrees to marry me. i very strongly doubt tht such good things happen more than once. - Handa to arunima

* lado na please.get violent.scratch cheeks , pull hair , girl fight is nice - Abhi to nidhi and neetie

* Someday, I will have a fridge installed in my bedroom, just besides the bed, so that if I wake up at night, I can gorge on some goodies and get back to sleep with a smile on my lips - sunshinenjoy in a post.

* It will let me close my eyes and feel your presence within me, around me, beyond me. It will let me see that I am not me, and you are not you anymore, neither am I yours. But, I am you and you are me; we are indivisible, in this world and beyond - Arundhati in a post.

* Its (Love is) a four letter word indeed, but sacrifice is longer, and ego is smaller, take your pick! - Arundhati to Premjit

flickr rocx

2005-11-12T14:54:00.000+05:30

Had made flickr album long time back but only recently updated it with full heart. Can say I am falling all over again in love with flickr. Check some of the flicking if have done ;)

Extensive use of js and flash gives flickr a power of editing and online image pulishing, I've seen nowhere, be it xphotos, Yahoo! photos, photobucket . . . Intergrated social networking into image browsing makes flickr unique. They provide an internal index of interestingness to all images and show up nice random pics here!

Free account has as many advantages as you can think of. Pro account is gonna give god-knows-what!
Ohhhh I gotta stay back from it - spending too much time on flickr :(

Oh and blogger sucks- they put a very small word limit to your interests while editing profile- fkers dont even say the limit and when you type 4 dozen interests and save profile, they'll simply show half of them X( Check my profile if you have to, on flickr here and not on blogger!

Compendium of Comments- Part 2

2005-11-08T16:55:00.000+05:30

refer here for part 1 of my comments' collection. As before don't whine :P

* u know wat, wen u talk of luking aweful in old snaps, im reminded of the way we girls had a constant competition as to who will wear a shorter skirt, just to 'look' cool ! (sounds stupid now, but it was so serious then! :p ) -- Aastha2Saz

* whatever nonsense you say to me is all taken in good spirit, my dear! Come on, I don't have to tell you that! :) - Saz to me {biatch again! I love you >:D< }

* one person's vulgarity is another's poetry. blogger guys! {did I ever disgust you with my vulgarity. . . err poetry? Try me ;)}

* If you want loong responses to mails, you must probably marry a blogger :)) - Sudipta to Gabby

* Because girls rarely share for input, they share because they can t hold it in. - Gabby in a post

* Yes the world's going crazy and it's not our fault! - Gabby to HiredGun {oh yeah i am reading a lot of Gabby!!! making up for all those missed months on her blog;) }

* Marriage doesnt freak out most girls.. but yes, most girls (consciously or not) like to act a lil pricey.I guess its like shopping... we always want the best deal. In the meantime, we dont mind window shopping ;) - Casablanca to Virdi

Afraid ??

2005-11-07T23:52:00.000+05:30

from the inspirational book, Who Moved My Cheese?

Compendium of Comments- Part 1

2005-11-07T16:59:00.000+05:30

A collection of interesting/amusing/insightful/thot-provoking/watever...... comments by fellow bloggers on other bloggers' postings :-) I am just a happy reader from afar ;)

These might NOT be verbatim . . . but while editing I am not gonna do away with the imbedded meaning ! Oh wat the heck they are for my own reading pleasure.

If I remember I'll mention the person who wrote the comments - If you dont wanna see any of ur comments here please lemme know. I will highlight them and display them better :P Ha ha ha !

Oh and if I have to say something (my comment on ur comment :P) I'll put that in {curly braces}.Happy reading :D

* Blogging,I think is the best boon of Internet(second only to google :-) and thanks Red for making it more interesting for ur regular readers. - Vandy2red on red's blog

* Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person, is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.

* A modern girl . . . http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/30/magazine/30feminism.html?incamp=article_popular

* We are often very loath to come away from the comfort level that we organize for ourselves...

* I guess she is feeling very lost. . . since she had her life mapped out to the T and one little flicker and she is scared to start all over again. . . . She must realise that it is her life and circumstances does not build her life. . she builds the circumstances... SIGH...yet another lesson to learn..

* Sometimes a partner who has betrayed you is easier to forget THAN the pain of not having THAT person ur partner anymore! In every relationship there is one person who loves more than the other person loves.

* One bridge crossed by her alone doesn't mean he won't be there on other bridges. Sometimes we have to walk on our own- he might have just not realised she needed him that badly and would make such an "UGLY" scene out of it. In fact this could be a great lesson and he'll surely learn a lot from it- dont u agree with me that we men are soo goddamn FOOLISH when it comes to see unsaid things with girls :-S

PLEASE GO STOP THEM... THERE ARE A LOT OF BRIDGES WAITING TO BE CROSSED !! -urs truly to gratisgab

* kiss seeee yaad aayya...u were in my dreams yesterday n we were kissing for HOURS!!!!!!!! thats how much of good kisser u were!!!:"> -- someone to me :>

* You don't HAVE a normal grin, my dear! ;) -Saz to me. {biatch :P}

with her, to her, for her

2005-11-07T11:10:00.000+05:30

I love to do (or would love to):

* half the times tell her she is pretty cool (and I wanted to sit her on the dosa-wala’s hot plate- to heat her up;) ), rest of the time tell her she is pretty hot and heats me too.

* smell her hairs (donno how come sunsilk in my hairs stinks; or may be my wing-mates don’t have good olfactory senses!!). But her hairs washed with sunsilk are just….. perfumed silk!

* I love to talk to her about throwing her down her office building, trip her in a muddy ditch, or rip her carotid with my nails :D Forget about her, even for me its sometimes disgusting or gross but secretly she loves the way I “mis-handle” her!

* walking very close to her- touching her side. And I love it when with no deliberation from our sides, very unconsciously, our hands hold each other without we knowing it! And its just fingers sometimes, one of hers locked to one of mine :">

* giving her surprises…. Oh boy she hates it as much as she loves it! At times reaching to her unannounced, just in time before she leaves the place! Sometimes I am not so lucky so have to return back without getting to see her and although I hate myself those times (for not making it on time!) but its ok. Its life- shit happens sometimes!

* boast about her qualities 'n nature among my friends, even to didi :O and forcibly sending didi her photos saying she HAS TO convince my parents about her ;;)

* go to parks, sit with her, without talking for hours- just absorbing each others presence sitting hands in hands, as if trying to gauge each others feelings thru’ skin!

* pain her teasingly or scaring her to death with silly pranks and when she gets really mad saying she’ll eat me alive (!!) . . . .when she is extremely angry I love to kiss her telling her how much I love her :">

* make up silly, totally out of the world, pet names for her- with all the love in the world! (though she doesn't like any :-s ).

* I’d love to mug up all her favorite bands/songs and sing them to her as and when the occasion arises (if only I could have her fav. list. D'oh!)

* hang out with her when she is feeling low. Just walking or sitting hands in hands and just being there whatever way she wants.

* Stuff her with tons of cakes ‘n bakes, pastries ‘n pastas, soft drinks ‘n ice-creams *stupid grin*

* Go out with her without umbrellas and get ourselves drenched down to bones in a heavy downpour- I can only imagine how making love in rains might feel and it gives me goosebumps even to think abt it *blushing*

* Deliberately leave hickeies on her lips, hands, neck, ears or back for someone to see them and wonder what is she up to!

* oh and last but not the least, I love getting beaten up by her, so lovingly & so slightly as she does (I wish she would hit me more and with more force :"> ); to get eaten raw by her; to be pinched for the silly jokes I crack, for getting tickled for no reasons or for her silly made-up reasons; to get those "aankhiyon-se-goli-maare" looks at the gross things I say; and to get her permissions to do all the bird-watching I might want to indulge in (though I swear I dont!! I just look around & appreciate beauty, nature's art, good figures, curvy waists, nice asses, bouncing boobies, . . . . .shit were you noticing????? *nail biting* nahi jaan its not what it looks like, I was just... I mean..... pls suno to.. .. . ok ok plss dont kill me now, I was just being an average guy!)

. . . . and “I am loving it”

current mood: shot beyond cloud nine!

current music: George Michael - I Want Your Sex :P

Power of Love

2005-11-06T20:38:00.000+05:30

Such is the power of love!

And I am feeling all powerful :)